Parental Alienation

Dear O and C, Once again, I have been intrigued to write based on recent findings.  R was going through our district track and field results, because she was curious if you, O, participated in track and field this year.  To her surprise, and mine when she told me, we were delighted to read that you placed 4th in the 50 meter dash O.  That’s awesome!  Congratulations!  However, to our dismay your last name was listed as your mother’s last name.  That is not your last name.  Your last name is my last name, until you legally change it.  This is just one more example of the extreme parental alienation tactics your mother has implemented. It’s really tragic to think about.  It’s also one of the last remaining pieces that keep the two of us connected.  I know your mother’s goal is to sever absolutely all ties, and she has darn near accomplished that.  I’ve recently come to the conclusion that the only thing in the world that needs to ...

Dear O and C,           I miss you so much.  It’s been awhile since I’ve last written to you, and I have lots to share.  Your mother did not pursue legal action after I saw you at the baseball game C.  She had no cause to pursue legal action, but that never stopped her before.  I still haven’t received any agreed upon updates from your mother.  My guess is, I never will again.  I’ve been debating asking her why she stopped sending them, but I don’t want to stir the pot, or give her any reason to get her attorneys involved.  She has me right where she wants me in terms of my relationship with you two; pacified and helpless.  I have presumed nothing but positive intentions throughout this miserable so called reunification process; to no avail.  It has been anything but reunifying. In fact, due to your mothers’ alienation efforts, it has been the complete opposite. Each day that we are not attempting to heal our rel...

Dear O and C,           You’re not going to believe this, but another incident occurred.  This time I actually saw you, C. R and I were taking CS for a walk around the block, and he wanted to go to the park; the same one we go to nearly every day.  So of course, we took him.  Actually, I took him, and R went home to make dinner.  As I was approaching the park, and walking past the baseball field, I saw someone sitting in the bleachers that looked like your mother, C. I panicked slightly, but kept walking with CS towards the playground.  Once I got there, I called R, and asked if she could come over to the park and confirm what I thought to be true.  Sure enough, when she reached the playground, she confirmed that in fact, it was your mother sitting in the bleachers, C. This was terrifying.  The park is one of my very few safe places in SM, where I can go and not have to worry about seeing any of you, or being harassed....

Dear O and C, The torture continues. C, I found out you play basketball for your middle school.  While this should make me happy, it doesn’t because your mom chooses to weaponize it.  Your team played at my school on Monday.  I am the gym supervisor, so normally, I would be there to keep score and make sure things run smoothly.  Because your mother recently contacted the district again, and once again, gave them misinformation about what our most recent court order states, I wasn’t allowed to be there.  I received another letter in my file with strict directives; one of them being, I’m not allowed to be on any campus where you and your brother will be.  Once again, there is not a “no contact order” in place.  Your mother attempted, but failed, to get a restraining order against me.  The only thing preventing me from seeing you, is your mother, and now, because of your mother, my district.  She has caused me so much pain and stress.  I ...

2/5/25 Dear O and C,           How are you?  It’s my mom’s birthday today; your grandmother.  She is 70 years old.   We had a huge surprise party for her this past weekend.  You two were pretty much the only family members not there.  Of course, you were mentioned, and in all of our hearts.  Although grandma had the best party possible, having you two there would have made it even better.  We all miss you so much.  I fear my mom will pass away before she sees you two again.  It would be her dying wish to see you.  At this rate, I fear I will pass away before I ever see you again.  The thought is daunting, but all too realistic.             These letters read like fiction due to how outlandish some of the things I talk about are.  Your mother is at it again.  Just when I think she might be turning a corner, she abruptly changes course and destroys any pro...

Dear O and C, I miss you so much.  Lately, it’s been tearing my heart apart when I think about how much I miss both of you.  I watch videos from when you were little.  We didn’t have a perfect home, but we had a darn good one.  It’s obvious to see how much you and I loved and cared for each other.  You felt safe around me.  I was so happy to be your father.  There is also a video where O, you are lying on the floor with your blanket, asking your mother for something.  She is, of course, filming you, and telling you not to throw a temper tantrum.  It is very clear that you are not throwing a temper tantrum, and are only asking for something.  Your mother goes on to threaten you and says, “if you don’t stop throwing a temper tantrum, I’m going to film you, and send it to all of your friends so they won’t want to play with you anymore. When they see this, they won't want to be your friends anymore.”  This is so cruel.  Yet, this...

Dear O and C, My apologies for not writing in such a long time.  I hope both of you had a nice thanksgiving.  I shared a message with you via Talking Parents, so I hope your mother relayed it to you.  In any case, I am thankful for the both of you, and I miss you and love you very much.  I have so much to share with you.  R is pregnant again.  Yes, that is right, you will be having another baby brother!  I truly hope you are able to meet your little brothers someday.  You would both be the best big brothers in the world.  It is truly a shame you have been robbed of that experience.  No child should ever have to forgo one side of their family.  Please know, the door is always open should you ever want to come back into my life, and your brothers’ lives as well.   As promised, I received a very short and vague update from your mother yesterday, in regard to the two of you.  She simply stated that O, you were able to...

Dear O and C, Happy Birthday my dearest O!  I can’t believe you are a teenager!  Where does the time go?  I haven't really known you at all since you were 9 years old.  That’s the last time we’ve had contact prior to the Ex-Parte your mother filed.  Since then, I’ve only gotten a small glimpse into your lives.  I can only speculate and guess about how your lives are going, and what you’ve been up to. That doesn’t mean I don’t think about you every day.  I do.  I am constantly hoping and praying for your safety, health, and well being.  I am very certain that God has been keeping a close eye on you and helping you navigate life to the best of your abilities, and for that, I am grateful.   I have a small piece of good news to share with you both. Your mother recently agreed to send me updates every couple of months, with information regarding the two of you.  I asked if I could communicate with you via email or text, and she ...

Dear O and C, It’s been a long time.  I miss you very much. So much has happened since the last time I wrote to you.  First and foremost, I want to tell you, R is pregnant with our second child.  You will be having another sibling.  I pray to god everyday, that someday you will get to meet your siblings.  I love you both so much and I hope you are doing well.  C, you are now in middle school, and attending the same school as your brother.  I can’t believe you are both in middle school!  I hope you are both enjoying your middle school experience.  I made some really good friends in middle school and found some of my true passions in life during that time.  I wish the same for both of you.            I don’t know much about what is going on in your lives as I haven’t had any contact with you for quite some time, and I haven’t heard any news about either of you from anyone.  I do know that you got b...

Dear O and C, I am writing you because yesterday was father’s day.  I still hold out bleak amounts of hope that I might receive a phone call, letter, or even just a text from you wishing a happy father’s day.  No such luck.  Doesn’t mean I won’t stop hoping.  I’ll never stop hoping, or praying, or loving the both of you with all my heart.  I think about you every day, and wish nothing but the best for you.  I hope each of your lives is filled with peace, love, joy, happiness, fulfillment, and contentment.  You both deserve that.  This is the fourth father’s day I’ve spent without you.  While it has become easier, that is not to say yesterday went by without a deep sense of pain and longing for you both.  I dream of a day where we can be together again.  I am now acutely aware that that day might never come, but again, it won’t stop me from dreaming.  You will always be with me in my dreams, thoughts, prayers, and memories, an...

Dear O and C, Congratulations on finishing another year of school!  And C, congratulations on graduating from the 5th grade and becoming a middle school student!  I wish I could have been a part of your celebration.  I’m sure there were many people in your life who were able to celebrate you, and I’m quite happy about that.  The only information I have received about either of you this past year, was that you, O, were playing both flag football and baseball.  Aside from that, I have not received any updates, photos, information about either of you. That has been very difficult for me.  I wish I had some inkling of insight as to how you were both doing.  All I can do is hope and pray for the best, which I do everyday.   Since you can’t share anything with me, I will take this opportunity to share some information with you.  Your half brother, CS, is now 15 months old.  He is walking, talking, and thoroughly enjoying life.  H...

Dear O and C, Just writing to check in.  I love you and miss you so much! It’s been a while since I’ve written to you.  A lot has happened since the last letter.  Happy Valentine’s Day! Valentine’s Day is always a day I spend thinking about the two of you, and how much I love you!  It was also grandma’s 69 th birthday.  We had a very nice party for her down at B, L, J, and M’s house.  The only thing missing was the two of you.  You are always in our thoughts, prayers, speeches, and we hold you so very dear in our memories.   Love, Dad

Dear O and C,           Happy New Year!  I can’t believe it’s 2024!  I hope you guys had a wonderful Christmas.  I hope you were able to celebrate the true meaning of Christmas, and appreciate all of the blessings in your lives.  I hope you were able to spend time with your family and friends.  I hope you were able to relax, reflect, and be grateful for the things that bring you joy in your lives.  I want you to know that I am incredibly proud of both of you.  I missed you both so much over the holidays.   I want to share some highlights with you from my holidays.  First off, it was CS’s first Christmas.  It was wonderful to celebrate with him.  He is so joyful, and reminds me so much of the two of you, when you were his age.  RC and I took him to Lake Tahoe to see snow for the first time.  We had lots of fun making snow angels, and building snowmen.  Ironically, it was the first tim...