9/17/24

Dear O and C,

It’s been a long time.  I miss you very much. So much has happened since the last time I wrote to you.  First and foremost, I want to tell you, R is pregnant with our second child.  You will be having another sibling.  I pray to god everyday, that someday you will get to meet your siblings.  I love you both so much and I hope you are doing well.  C, you are now in middle school, and attending the same school as your brother.  I can’t believe you are both in middle school!  I hope you are both enjoying your middle school experience.  I made some really good friends in middle school and found some of my true passions in life during that time.  I wish the same for both of you. 

        I don’t know much about what is going on in your lives as I haven’t had any contact with you for quite some time, and I haven’t heard any news about either of you from anyone.  I do know that you got braces O, because I had to pay for half of the bill, which was very expensive ($4200 to be exact).  I am happy that your hygiene is being taken care of, and that someday you will have straight teeth.  After paying half of the bill, I asked your mother if she could give me an update about how the two of you are doing. To my surprise, she did respond and gave me a very brief update.  She informed me that you both had a nice summer.  That you O, struggled with math last year, so you had some tutoring over the summer.  Also, that you were both looking forward to the new school year.  That’s it.  Over a year of not seeing you or hearing anything about you, and that’s all I get.  I was thankful though, and a small part of me thought this might be an opening for your mother and I to communicate via email, in regards to the two of you.  That hope would quickly die.

The next week was the first week of school.  I constantly look through old pictures of you guys and came across a couple first day of school pictures of the two of you from years ago.  It got me thinking, maybe your mother still takes pictures of you on your first day of school.  With that in mind, I emailed her and asked if she could send me first day of school pictures of the two of you, if she was going to take any.  Needless to say, I never heard a response from her.  I was slightly disappointed, although I expected nothing less.  A few more weeks went by, and I decided I would try and reach out to your mother once more.  I sent an email asking if I could have some form of contact with the two of you, via email or phone.  O, your birthday is also coming up, so I asked if I could send you guys gifts on your birthdays and Christmas.  Finally, I asked if neither of these were possible, could she email me updates about you guys every couple of months.  I never heard back from her.  So much for an open line of communication between the two of us.  

        I’ll never understand how your mother can still have so much anger, resentment, and hatred towards me.  Or, why she wants to continue alienating me from you two.  It’s been almost four years since I’ve seen or spoken to you, without a supervisor present.  It’s been over a year since I’ve seen you, with a supervisor present.  I pose absolutely zero threat to either of you.  There is no valid reason that we can’t communicate with each other via email or phone.  There is absolutely no valid reason why I can’t send the two of you gifts on your birthdays and holidays.  Honestly, there is no valid reason why the three of us can’t get together at a park for an hour on weekends.  I didn’t ask for that because I wanted to be considerate and start small.  Either way, it didn’t matter because I never heard back from your mother anyway.  

        On a bright note, R did google search you guys and found some new information.  O, we found out that you did track and field last year, and even hold a record at your school for high jump!  This made me so incredibly happy to hear!  I too competed in track and field in middle school and it was one of the greatest experiences of my life.  We also found out that you competed in the 75 meter sprint O, which is awesome.  I competed in sprinting and the high jump as well, so hearing that you competed in the same events brought me so much joy! I hope that you continue competing in track and field and continue to experience success.  C, I hope that you find something you are passionate about and are able to find success in it as well. 

        Even though I didn’t hear back from your mother regarding gifts, O, I might send you a gift for your birthday regardless.  I have no idea what to get you, as I have no idea what you are into.  I’m sure I’ll figure something out.  Bottom line is, I want to celebrate you in any and every way that I can.  O, I can’t believe you will be a teenager!  

I love and miss the two of you terribly.  I wish we could have some form of communication.  I think about you, and pray for you every day.  I cry for you often; sometimes tears of joy in assuming you are ok, but mostly painful tears from the absence of you in my life.  You are always with me in my thoughts and memories and in my heart.  I love and miss you two so much and I hope your school year is off to a good start.  


Love,

Dad

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