Parental Alienation

Dear O and C,      Yesterday, I received yet another email from my lawyer detailing how your mother had filed another request with the court. Her evil and borderline psychotic behavior is becoming highly concerning, as well as taxing. I can’t imagine how it is to live with her right now. This time, she is requesting a live court testimony from the two of you.  That’s right, she wants the two of you to testify against your own father in live court.  That is abuse.  That is cruelty against a child.  That is the ultimate act of mind control and manipulation, committed against two innocent victims—her own children. She is mentally unstable, sick if you will, and rapidly getting worse it seems. If someone does not put an end to her repulsive behavior soon, it will be absolutely detrimental to the two of you.  It makes my stomach turn and my heart ache to think about the lessons she is teaching you and the messaging you are receiving about how to live y...

Dear O and C, I hope you had a nice weekend.  I must tell you, I really, really miss being able to watch the two of you play baseball.  I hear about your games briefly, during our therapy sessions.  I check your team’s scores on the little league website.  However, it’s no substitute for being there in person and watching you play. This is honestly one of the things I was looking forward to most when I decided to have kids—being able to experience your interests, passions, and extracurriculars with you.  Sports were my savior in life, so it warms my heart to know that the two of you have taken an interest in them.  I used to work with the two of you in our backyard, on your hitting, catching and throwing.  I also used to coach all of your teams.  I’m not sure if you’ll ever be able to imagine going from that, to not even being able to attend your games.  It’s heartbreaking.  O, you said you wanted to start pitching.  I dream of th...

Dear O and C, Most of the time I write to you to let you know what’s going on in my life, or to tell you how I’m feeling, or ask how you’re feeling, rhetorically.  However, once in a while, I am truly compelled to write to you about something specific.  It’s like a calling, a manifest destiny that has to be fulfilled.  Well, today is one of those days.  My day started out simple enough.  Woke up, fed the baby, changed the baby, made some coffee, and nestled in on the couch to watch some TV.  I settled on a Netflix film about Whitney Houston, called, “I Wanna Dance With Somebody.”  I’ve always liked Whitney, and I wanted to learn more about her life, and her tragic ending.  The movie is really good so far, I’m a little over half way.  At about the halfway mark, my watch party took a detour.  The song, “I will always love you,” came on.  It’s such a beautiful song.  However, it’s a song that brings up a lot of emotions for me....

Dear O and C, Thank you for attending our Reunification therapy session.  I could tell the mood was a bit off.  You both seemed a little reserved.  C, you opened up and talked to me a little bit.  O, you stated you didn’t want to talk about anything heavy, and so we kept it light.  My best guess as to why you both were acting this way was because you had just spoken to the mediator. I’m guessing you shared with him that you no longer wanted to do reunification therapy.  You probably felt some guilt surrounding that meeting.  Maybe you even thought that somehow, I received a copy of the report, and that I would hold a grudge against you for saying what you said, or sharing your honest feelings and opinions with the mediator.  I’m here to tell you that I already know exactly how you feel, and I will never begrudge you for it.  I know you don’t want to see me.  I know you don’t trust me.  I know you don’t want a relationship with me,...

Dear O and C, I want to thank you for opening up to me during our last therapy session.  C, you went first.  You shared with me that you were anxious about the idea of having to live with me again someday.  I was able to assure you that you would never have to spend any time with me if you didn’t want to.  I was also able to assure you that any contact we did have, would be monitored by a therapist or supervisor.  We also talked about how we were going to navigate this process on your terms, and move forward at a pace you were comfortable with.  I asked if knowing this eased your mind and you assured me that it did.  You also shared with me that since our therapy sessions began, I had earned a little bit of your trust back.  Hearing that meant a lot to me.   I want to clear the air about something else.  Apparently, you shared with your individual therapist that you, “didn’t like how I was living such a great life,” and that, “you...

Dear O and C, I’m scared.  I’m scared that I’m going to lose the two of you for good.  I called the courthouse the other day to schedule my mediation appointment.  They informed me that the mediation was not for me; rather it was for the two of you to meet with the mediator.  This scares me for many reasons.  First off, the two of you have expressed openly to me, and our therapist that you do not want to do reunification therapy with me.  I’m afraid you will convey that message to the mediator.  Second, the mediation will be virtual, which means your mother will be present the entire time.  She will most likely coach you through the entire process telling you what to say and when.  Remember, she is attempting to have our reunification therapy suspended.  I’m scared that she is going to succeed.  If she does, and we no longer have reunification therapy, then we have nothing.  We will have no communication or contact whatsoever...

Dear O and C,       Happy April Fool’s Day!  Your mother filed another Ex Parte. I wish this was an April Fool’s Joke, but unfortunately, it’s not. This time, she was attempting to get our reunification therapy suspended.  She had absolutely no reason for doing so.  This is just another alienation tactic on her part.  She wants me to quit and give up.  I assure you, I will not.  I am more committed now than ever before to heal and rebuild my relationship with you.  Her request to have therapy suspended was denied by the court.  Our next hearing is on May 11 th to revisit my request to add supervised visitation.  Honestly, I don’t mind one way or the other if they grant the request or not.  On one hand, I would love to see you guys more often.  On the other hand, I don’t want to overwhelm you with more visitation, if you’re not ready for it yet.  I do believe that by spending more time together, we can conti...