10/03/22

Dear O and C,

We just finished our second session.  I am so thankful and grateful for being able to see the two of you today.  I am also beyond grateful that we got to celebrate your birthdays today.  It’s been a long time since I’ve gotten to celebrate anything with you guys.  I feel very blessed.  Again, I know cupcakes and a couple of gifts don’t make up for the pain I caused, and the time we lost, but we’re taking the steps forward, and that’s what’s important.  I know this is going to be a long process, but it’s a process I’m ready for, and I’m happy it’s finally underway.  

During our session today, I could tell there was a little less tension when you walked into the room.  Again, we laughed and played, and kept it light.  With the advice of our therapist, I apologized for the pain and hurt I had caused you in the past.  We didn’t spend much time on it, but I wanted to make sure that you boys knew that I was sorry for the mistakes I had made, and that I was here to repair the harm that I had caused.  You guys weren’t quite ready to talk about anything heavy, and that’s totally fine.  We continued playing, laughing and talking..  At the end of the session, I informed our therapist, and the two of you, that I would not be able to make it to the next session.  I didn’t give details, and I wasn’t even sure if the two of you knew, but I was getting married this week.  As a result, I would be away on my honeymoon the following Monday, which had been planned many months in advance.  It’s difficult, because I want to share all of this information with you, however, I don’t want to bombard you with too much while we’re just beginning to get to know each other again.  It’s a fine line, and one I’m trying to walk with as much caution and care for the two of you as possible.  We said our goodbyes and you went on your way.  When the therapist returned, she mentioned that you O, had some anxiety about me not being able to attend the next session.  You said to our therapist, “He always does this.  He gets mad and yells at us in the third session, and then he quits.”  Your anxiety is totally valid, and I understand why you would feel that way.  I also want you to understand that our last attempt at therapy was completely flawed.  First of all, it was virtual.  Reunification therapy cannot be conducted in a meaningful way, virtually; it’s impossible.  Second, we had the wrong therapist in place.  The previous therapist was ill equipped to handle our situation; she should not have taken on our case.  Third, I was still in complete shock about what had happened.  I was bitter, hurt and emotionally and financially drained. I truly was in no place to begin reunification therapy, especially with a therapist who told me that the bulk of our work would take place between me and your mother; the woman who had just taken my children away from me.  It was not a situation that could ever have been successful.  This time around is completely different.  Mentally, I’m in a much better place.  Financially, I’m in a better place.  Emotionally, I’m in a much better place.  This time, we have the right therapist in place, and our sessions are in person.  So far, your mother has not attempted to interfere, or impede the process; I pray that continues.  So, you’re totally entitled to your anxiety, doubts, and fears based on past events.  I can handle that.  I just want to let you know, this time is different.  I am one hundred percent committed to this process, and to the two of you.  I am committed to rebuilding our relationship, and being a stable part of your lives, forever.  So, while it pained me to hear about your fears and worries, it also helped me not forget how fragile this situation is, and how much time, effort, patience and love I have to approach it with.  I love you both so much.  I can’t wait to see you guys in two weeks!


Love,

Dad

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