07/21/22

Dear O and C,

I hope you are having a good summer.  I love you and miss you very much.  I wanted to give you an update on our custody situation because I feel you are entitled to that information, and I believe you deserve to hear the truth.  I had a mediation meeting with your mother on June 21 of this year.  It should be noted that your mother refuses to have a direct conversation with me. So, instead, a mediator goes between breakout rooms on Zoom to facilitate a “conversation.” During that mediation session, I made it clear that I would like to begin reunification therapy, and eventually, supervised visitation.  I agreed to use SoberLink, before and after any contact with the two of you.  I agreed to let the reunification therapist guide the supervised visitation process and that we wouldn’t begin visits until the therapist thought it was time.  These were things that were mutually agreed upon during the session. I felt hopeful that the process of therapy would quickly begin, and I could see you two.  This next part shouldn’t come as a surprise based on my past entries and patterns that have emerged. Your mother decided that she no longer agrees with any of the things we decided during mediation, despite actively agreeing to them at the time. She continues to delay the process, filing more declarations with the court, asking for delayed hearings, subpoenaing my therapist, your therapist, and the therapist who attempted reunification therapy last time.  Your mother is doing everything in her power to make sure that I don’t have any contact with you guys.  It is absolutely cruel. No boys, or any children for that matter, should have to grow up without a father.  Especially when that father has done everything in his power to better himself, and prove to the court that he has changed.  I’ll never understand our country's family court system; or maybe it’s specific to liberal California.  There are murderers in prison who have more parental rights than I do.  There is nothing more that I can do to prove that I am a safe, sober, responsible father.  I’ve done it all.  I’ve taken all of the classes.  I’ve worked with a therapist for almost two years now.  I’ve been Sober for almost a year now.  I’m working with my attorney, and within the framework of the courts, to find a way to reconnect with you, in a positive and healthy way.  However, every step of the way, your mother has disrupted the process.  It is very clear that she will do everything in her power to keep you guys from having any form of contact with me.  We’ll never know for sure why she is doing this.  It is my theory that she is protecting her narrative that I am dangerous, and that it is not safe for you guys to be with me.  That couldn’t be further from the truth.  Also, any contact I would have with you would be supervised, which poses no threat at all.  The truth is, there is no valid reason for us to not be able to begin reunification therapy.  Your mother fighting this process will only cause the two of you more harm down the road.  The longer we wait to begin the process of reconnection, the longer it will take for us to be able to heal our relationship.  Maybe that is what your mother wants.  I can’t imagine any decent, rational mother, wanting that for her children.   I also want to add that this is getting outrageously expensive.  I imagine by now your mother has spent upwards of $150,000 in order to keep you boys away from me.  This is money that should be spent on your health, well-being, education, and put into savings for you.  The financial irresponsibility that is being demonstrated is astounding. If your mother truly believed she was protecting you and keeping you safe, it still wouldn’t make sense to prevent us from beginning reunification therapy, and eventually working towards supervised visits.  This is simply a parental alienation tactic on her part.  The only other theory that would make sense, is that she is doing this, just to make me suffer.  This very well could be the case.  She could be doing what she is doing purely in an attempt to ruin and sabotage my life.  She has done a pretty good job of that to be honest.  

Despite the continued setbacks and alienation, please know that I love you. I feel incomplete without you.


Love,

Dad

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