02/6/23



Dear O and C,

Yesterday was grandma Mary’s birthday.  It was a bittersweet celebration.  We had brunch, and cake, and grandma opened presents.  It’s just not the same without you boys present.  You were grandma’s world.  She misses you so much.  She would trade anything in the world just to see you again.  I haven’t gotten up the nerve to tell her that you boys don’t want a relationship with her right now.  It would absolutely devastate her.  I hope that changes someday.  Your grandma loves you so much, and she was so instrumental in raising the two of you.  You are always in grandma’s thoughts and prayers, and she loves you more than life itself.  There is nothing your grandma wouldn’t do for you.  

I have to share custody news with you because I don’t think I’d be doing my job as a father if I didn’t keep you somewhat up to date.  There is a lot I haven’t shared with you regarding the custody situation, mostly to protect the two of you, and to not speak poorly of your mother.  However, it’s reached a point where I truly believe you should know what is taking place, and have access to the correct, true, and accurate information.  So, in your mother’s latest attempt to assassinate my character, and further alienate you two from me, she filed another declaration with the court, falsely accusing me of drinking, and bringing up an incident that happened between my wife and I, one year ago.  First off, I want to reiterate to you that I don’t drink, period.  I’ve been sober for 461 days.  Not one single slip up, sip, not even a sniff of alcohol; something I am very proud of.  Second, the incident that occurred with my wife and I, one year ago, has nothing to do with my relationship with you.  Nothing.  This is simply your mother digging, and looking for dirt, to attempt to prevent me from making progress in my relationship with you two.  Also, for the record, there were only 4 people who knew about my arrest, excluding the police officers involved, and none of those people spoke to your mother.  The case was closed, discarded, and thrown out.  No charges were filed, so it was not on public record.  This can only mean one of two things.  One, your mother hired a private investigator to keep surveillance on me 24/7.  Or two, your mother paid big money to have a very thorough and detailed background search done on me. There are websites available where you can pay big bucks to dig up private information on people.  Either way, this is highly concerning for many reasons.  One, your mother is not spending her time being a good parent to you boys, or spending time bettering herself.  Instead, she is spending her time and money in order to sabotage me, my character, and my relationship with you two.  That is beyond pathetic.  I hope someday she realizes, that no matter what lengths she goes to, to attempt to destroy me and my life, it’s not going to work.  I am in a very stable place right now.  I have a beautiful loving marriage with the woman of my dreams.  I have a baby on the way, due in one month.  I have a beautiful home, filled with love and respect.  I have a stable job, with great benefits, and a great pension.  I have financial investments in the bank.  I invested so much time and energy into my health and well-being; physically, emotionally and spiritually.  I have worked tirelessly on my relationship with you two, as we continue to progress with our reunification therapy.  My spirit cannot be broken.  My character cannot be tarnished.  My love for you two cannot be diminished.  I’m your dad, and I’m a pretty darn good one at that.  You only get one dad in this lifetime, and I’m 100% sure that someday, you will want to have a relationship with me.  Until that day comes, I’ll keep putting my best foot forward, and give this rebuilding process everything I’ve got. 

On a brighter note, our therapy sessions seem to be heading in the right direction.  Our therapist has separated the two of you, so I get to spend a half an hour with each of you, individually.  I think this has been working really well.  O, you and I have been playing baseball during our sessions.  Last week your cousin J gave you each a bat, which I was able to deliver to you.  I pitched to you, and you used the new bat to hit.  You were hitting the ball really well.  Then you pitched to me, and I hit.  I was super impressed with your pitching.  You were throwing the ball hard, and accurately.  I see my athleticism in you. It’s an absolute joy to watch.  I hope sports can help provide you with some stability and confidence that every child needs in order to be successful.  C, we play football during our visits.  It’s awesome to see how much you love throwing and kicking the football around.  You have a great arm, and your catching has improved significantly.  Your kicking skills, both punting and place kicking are amazing too!  I absolutely love throwing the football around with you.  We laugh, giggle, joke, smile, and have an all-around great time.  I know you might not trust me yet, or ever trust me again.  However, we sure do have a good time together.  I absolutely love and cherish the half an hour I get to spend with each of you.  It’s one of the very best parts of my week, and I very much look forward to our visits.  I always bring you lunch, or a treat.  Lately, I’ve been bringing you In-N-Out Burgers, fries, and  chocolate shakes.  O, a grilled cheese for you of course because you don’t eat meat.  You devour your food, and it’s good to see you enjoying yourselves as you eat.  I am happy I can positively contribute to your lives, even in my limited capacity.  I also received both of your most recent report cards, and it’s good to see you are both doing well in school.  I’m so proud of you. O, I know you will be going to Outdoor Ed soon, because I received a bill to pay for half.  For the longest time, that’s the only way I knew about anything going on in your lives, is when I received a request for money from your mom.  I’m glad those days are behind us.  I’m happy to contribute financially to anything and everything going on in your lives.  I’m so happy to hear you are going to Outdoor Ed. O.  I think you will absolutely love the experience!  I know I did when I was your age.  I still remember some of the experiences, like the night hike, and kissing a banana slug.  I also remember some of my friends who were in the same cabin with me.  It’s a monumental experience, one that will help you learn and grow as a person.  I hope you develop an affinity for the outdoors, the same way I did.  The outdoors is something that has remained near and dear to me my entire life.  I hope it will for you too.  I also hope that I can take the two of you camping again someday, the way I used to.  I love you so much.


Love,

Dad

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