06/5/23



Dear O and C,

I had a troubling experience today.  I was contacted by my Human Resources Department at 11am and told I had to go in immediately after school to meet with them.  School doesn’t end until 3pm, so you can imagine how I was feeling most of the day.  I had a pit in my stomach that made it feel like there was a bowling ball in there.  I was nervous, trembling, and terrified.  My mind was racing, and I was wondering what in the world this could be in regards to?  I hadn’t been mean or rude to any students.  As a matter of fact, I’ve been doing the best job as a teacher in my 16 years in the profession.  I have been able to keep my cool in situations where the old version of myself might have lost it.  The only thing I could think of was your mother.  In the bottom of my heart, I knew she had something to do with it.  But I had to wait hours before I would get confirmation.  Even though I did nothing wrong, I had a nagging feeling in my gut that this meeting was about my interaction with I.O. and her daughter. I grew anxious that this situation would be twisted into something to make me look bad—something your mother seems to enjoy doing.  

So, I not so patiently waited until 3:30pm, which was the time of my meeting at the District Office.  I was informed that my Union representative would be there; which meant that it was serious.  I had not been informed about what the meeting was in regards to.  I really thought that I might be losing my job.  I was sweating profusely.  I felt like I needed to vomit, but I choked it down, because that would not have been a good look.  I checked into the office.  The union rep showed up shortly after, and spoke with me briefly.  She explained that she did not know what the meeting was about either, and that I didn’t have to say a word if I wasn’t comfortable.  She also informed me that I would have the right to an attorney, should need be.  I was a wreck, but I was holding it together the best I could.  

We entered the office. I was greeted by the Assistant Superintendent of H.R., and the Head of Student Services.  We all sat down.  They informed me that the meeting was going to be very brief.  They instructed me not to communicate to or ask questions about the two of you through district students, parents, or staff. They also discussed the importance of following all court issued directives, while under the employment of the School District.  I agreed. That was it.  That was the end of the meeting.  I was just so relieved that I still had my job.  

I reflected upon what they had said about the “court issued directives.”  That got me thinking.  What court issued directives?  There are no directives in place, specifying that I can’t speak to you or about you, to anyone.  There is not a “no contact order” in place.  There is no restraining order in place.  So, I wondered: did your mother submit false information to my place of employment?  Most likely, she did.  Therefore, R suggested I contact my attorney, which I adamantly agreed with. My attorney decided to write a letter to my place of employment, specifying that there is no court ordered directive preventing me from speaking to you, or about you, to anyone.  Now, if it is your wish that I don’t do that, then I will do my very best to honor your wish.  However, you must understand that I know many of the same people you know, and a lot of them will be attending my school next year.  You better believe many of them will say to you, “hey, aren’t you O and C’s dad?”  Of course, my reply will be, “Yes, I am.”  I refuse to lie to people about my relationship with you.  I am your father, whether you like it or not; and I am very much alive.  I suggest you start telling people the truth as well; otherwise, your lives might be even more difficult than they already are.  The truth will set you free.  Unfortunately, your mother never learned that, and she will suffer every day until she does.  It’s not too late for you however.  

I have no idea how our visit will go tomorrow.  I imagine it will be tough.  I will however, reiterate to you, that I love you, and that I am here for you, no matter what.  Until then.


Love,

Dad

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